I was planning to write a blog post about marriage on my one year anniversary. What I had learned, how it was different than I expected, etc.

Well, July 31st came and went, and I didn’t have much to say.

Yesterday, my office hosted a surprise wedding shower for one of my co-workers. Being in Texas and working remotely, I didn’t get to participate in the festivities. But, they did ask that I send some marriage advice for the Heart Bouquet that was being made, where each heart had a bit of advice. A year into marriage, I hardly feel qualified to give any advice, even if it’s just coming up with a short something for a wedding shower.

So, I looked through the guest books that I had at my wedding, in which I asked guests to write us a little piece of advice, notes to Russell and me, definitions of love, etc. I hadn’t looked at these in almost a year, and was both tickled and touched by the things family and friends had to say. Here are a few of my favorite (and most appropriate):

“Love each other. Dream together. Pray together. Laugh, cry, and grow. Forgive each other. Let your love be an example to others as to what love can be.”

“Tell her she’s beautiful and loved everyday.”

“Love is… kind of a mystery. Please explain when you have an answer.”

“Love is… truly the most important gift that you can give. When the hard times come, reach deep and share your love as though it is the day you were married.”

“From my years of experience, take lots of trips! And have fun with each other.” (From a then high school student)

“Love is… holding no offense – letting everything go every day.”

“Some things you will just have to do to stay married. It’s worth it!”

“Always lift the seat.”

“Love is… a friendship with the person who knows you best in the world, a passionate connection that is unlike any other, laughter, joy, compromise, selflessness, and true fulfillment.”

I found it so interesting how my young, un-married or newly-married friends have such idyllic descriptions of love. And, by all means, love is that passion, joy, and fulfillment that they wrote about. It really is the most wonderful thing in this world.

But, those who had been married for much longer had such realistic advice for sustaining a relationship – and that love – over a lifetime. Sometimes it’s hard. And you have to do stuff and put up with stuff you might not want to.

But, at the end of the day, it’s all worth it. Because love is worth fighting for.

What’s your best marriage advice – either from experience or that someone has shared with you?

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Photos by Claudia Rodriguez, an amazingly talented photographer in the Riveria Maya (If anyone is looking for a destination wedding photographer, she is highly recommended!)

4 Comments on Marriage Advice

  1. Kristin Murdock
    September 25, 2011 at 5:54 PM (6 years ago)

    I think the most simple thing I would say would be to kiss each other every day. I feel like this simple act of kindness and physical touch can connect with the deeper love and respect you always want to have for each other. I don’t know, I feel like there are so many things to say about marriage and how to make it good, but sometimes the simple things help keep it real.

    Reply
  2. Andrea @ The Skinny Chronicles
    September 26, 2011 at 4:48 PM (6 years ago)

    Fabulous photos (and advice). Marriage is like a garden. You have to nurture it and and love it if you want it to bloom.

    Reply
  3. elizabeth-flourishinprogress
    September 27, 2011 at 11:36 AM (6 years ago)

    “Some things you will just have to do to stay married.” That sums it up so, so well.

    I never thought I was going to get married. So, when I ended up getting married rather suddenly after an 18 day courtship, I wasn’t prepared mentally or in my heart. After 4 years, I know that my marriage works because my husband is such a good man and he is patient…not because I’m such a gem.

    The one very small thing I try to do (because I appreciate it myself) is to greet my husband when he comes in and say good bye in person as he is leaving rather than just calling it out from across the house. He is the first person I see when I walk in and the last person I see before I leave and I like that.

    Reply
  4. Kat
    September 28, 2011 at 12:27 PM (6 years ago)

    The most important advice my mother ever gave me is to treat Marcus like a treasure. At first it sounds really juvenile, but as you start to think about what it means to have a treasure, to treasure something, to be treasured, the layers start to peel back in a major way.

    Reply

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