Until December 23, 2010, I was a city girl. I had daily lattes, shopped a little too often, relied on public transportation, and rejected the thought of ever living in the country. When my husband and I decided to leave it all for West Texas to farm, life changed completely. Read my “Farmwife Confessions” to learn about the transition.

On our long drive from DC to Texas, Russell decided he was going to school me in country talk.

He started off by trying to teach me a sentence about how farm equipment works. I looked at him like he had two heads and asked why I would ever need to tell anyone about how farm equipment works.

So he moved on. Next lesson. “You have to say things like ‘Look at that here cow.’ or ‘I’m going to go to this there store.'”

It gave me great pleasure to correct his country talk, telling him that it is “that there” and “this here.” You see, I might be new to a farm, but I’m not new to the country. And it just so happens that I’m well-versed in country talk.

So, a few lessons for you:

The puddles is froze over.

My sweet grandpa used to tell us that the puddles is froze over. Or sometimes they was froze. Turns out, these are great pieces of information. You see, if the puddles is froze over, that means it’s cold enough to freeze the top of the puddle, but not the whole thing. If the puddles is froze, then it’s so cold the whole puddle is frozen. That’s way more information than Al Roker gives us.

They’s sweet and they’s unsweet.

At Andrus family reunions, someone always makes an announcement that, “They’s sweet and they’s unsweet,” referring to the iced tea. Us Southerners are picky about the amount of sugar in our iced tea.

Fixin’ to…

As in, I’m fixin’ to go to The Wal-Mart. When I was younger, I asked my mom what are some words, besides y’all, that Texans say. She replied “Fixin’ to.” “Oh, you mean leaving the g off the end of words?” “No, ‘fixin’ to’ isn’t a proper thing to say.” “Ooooh.”

Grab a holt of it.

One time, when my parents were traveling, my dad told a guy on a boat that he would help him by grabbing a holt of the rope. The guy did not know what he was saying.

‘Dem ol’ hiccups

When I was a baby, I had ‘dem ol’ hiccups a lot.

So, you see, I might not be able to talk about how that there cotton stripper works, but I know how to talk like a real Texan. Or, at least, a real Andrus.

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