Before I learned what love is, I told myself that there was no such thing as “the one.” There are no soulmates. No one was made for me. And there definitely wasn’t someone out there that I’m meant to be with.
In my head, any relationship could work, it was just a matter of compromise and dedication to making it work.
Then I met my lover. He challenged everything I ever thought I knew. He challenged my political beliefs, my sense of justice, my vegetarianism, and even my definition of love. He sees the world in a very different way than I do, forcing me to reexamine and reevaluate.
After over three years of head-over-heels love, and as I march closer and closer to “I do,” I find myself wondering if I still doubt the existence of “the one.”
There are plenty of things that point to the fact that he is meant for me. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of marrying someone named Russ so I could keep my maiden name without actually keeping it. Julia and Russ. Julia Andrus. Get it? Lo and behold…
Then, a few weeks before I moved to DC (the first time, for my internship), I dreamt that I would meet the man I would marry—a tall, good-looking Texan that worked for a Senator. A month later, I met a tall, good-looking Texan who worked for a Senator. And in 50-something days, I marry that man.
Beyond these silly little coincidences, he’s the first person (besides my parents, probably) who I can truly be me around—for better or for worse. For the first time, I don’t have a filter. I’m not school Ju or work Ju or going out Ju. I’m just me. I say what’s on my mind—even when I realize how crazy it is as its coming out my mouth. I’m not afraid to say no. I’m not afraid to express what I want.
It’s not that I’m more comfortable around him than anyone else. He’s the first person who can handle me, who can rein me in, who can be patient while I frolic in Ju-Land instead of reality. It’s like… he was made for me.
Despite this, I still deny the existence of “the one.” Although his never-ending patience and genuine joy in who I am as a person makes our relationship infinitely easier than any other I could imagine, it’s still work, just like any other relationship I could imagine. It still takes compromises, and it still takes dedication. Without those things, the magic we have now would disappear, as if it was all just a dream.